Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Sarcasm Mark.

Punctuation has faithfully served us for over 2,900 years.  In the beginning, punctuation was simply points and slashes denoting where the reader should pause and for what length. Since then, it has evolved into something much more standardized and complicated.  Punctuation is as necessary to our society as testicles are to functioning male reproductive organs.  Living without punctuation would be a little like trying to climb up a polished granite, completely vertical, even surface.  It would be impossible.

Today, we have the wonderful question mark which creates an informational vacuum, the explanation point for eloquently and simplistically stating excitement, the colon for adding a suspenseful pause, and many more.  Almost all key verbal intonation can be recorded in writing by use of punctuation.  The system works, in most cases, so that what is written can easily be interpreted. 

However, there is one important feature in verbal speech which can not be notated in written speech.  Sarcasm.

Sarcasm, considered to be the joke of choice for the intelligent, confuses enough people even with pronounced verbal clues.  With no verbal clues it poses a significant challenge not only to the gullible or common senseless, but to the average person with over-average brain capacity.  Thus, I propose a new mark that will complete our punctuation system: the sarcasm mark.  (~) The mark shall close off any sentence with sarcastic inclinations. The sentence: "I really love doing homework," could be quite ambiguous, even to a logical person.  It could mean that the speaker is either somewhat nerdy or being sarcastic.  However, adding the sarcasm mark would make it unmistakable: "I really love doing homework~"

Yeah, punctuation really isn't important~

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Practical, humorous,& thought provoking...I look forward to more.
KP

Jules said...

That's incredibly useful. It is disappointing that we english language lacks a sarcasm mark.